Citroen 2CV

Recently my email has been getting many requests to review another James Bond car. Well, you probably weren't expecting this one. James bond was only ever a passenger in the Citroen 2CV used in the film For Your Eyes Only, that is until he gains control of the wheel after the car is flipped on his side. Known world wide as "the better-looking VW Beetle." This car, although hated by many has a past rich with color. It was built to replace the common horse,  but that is not the only thing this little  car is known for. It was currently in the prototype stage during World War Two in France, when the Nazis arrived. In a quick but bold move, the prototypes for the 2CV were hidden across France. Some were burred underground. Some were hidden in run-down barns and houses. They are still turning up in odd places, even today. It official went into production in 1948, and stopped being made in 1990, all with verry little detail and design changes to the original. I would personally still have one of these over a Volkswagen Betle, as this car is a four-door that is somewhere between a hatchback and a coupe. All in all, a funny and iconic little car, and if it is good enough for James Bond, then it should be good enough for you.

Smart Car

Mercedes-Benz is known for creating relatively luxurious cars, normally for upper middle class and above. They have been responsible for some of the sleekest and most iconic cars of the last 100 years. From the iconic gull-wing roadster, to the SLK and SLS, not to mention the Mercedes-Benz AMG performance car decision, Mercedes has made some super cool cars. However, there is, as is the case with most brands, an elephant in the room. A company that is owned by Mercedes-Benz and their parent/partner company Daimler AG. I’m talking about SMART. Founded in 1994, the brand is known for making a car that looks the same, with small differences that turn it from bland and boring, to a squished jelly-bean. Apart from the 2003 SMART roadster, which never even saw release in the United States, the designs have been as bland and boring as the late 90’s and early 2000’s muscle cars. SMART tries to make their cars more eye-catching colors, such as the eye-burning yellow that will look perfectly at home when your brakes give out while pushing the car to the built in limiter on the highway and you end up embedded in a hazard sign post. After 2014, only SMART-ELECTRIC cars were released in America. A marketing and advertising campaign for the most recent SMART convertible called it “the perfect car to drive with your family along sunny roads by the beach, filled with compact elegance.” How High were they when they wrote that? The car is a two-seater, and the second a child touches the damn thing, it will tip over, so don’t even think about driving too close to s lovely beach view cliff, unless you want to experience first-hand what it is like to have a midget wet-weather wheel chair compacted into a nice ball... a ball that probably had better mobility and a better turning circle than it did before. Also, there is no reason for a digital speed limiter to even exist in this car, except for the fact that if you go to fast, say 116 mph down a hill, the whole thing starts shaking like a Yugo That has just come down from a crack high. It is a car meant to fit in alleyways between buildings, and cramped spaces in building and driveways in big cities. Also, if you are just over 6 foot 3, you might always have to have the roof open, or risk getting the worlds most bruised head other than a victim of a wrecking-ball drop. The glass used to make the windows in 2010 and 2015 had to be redesigned 5 tones to fit industry standards. Also, for the money you pay, for an electronic model, even without the performance package, you are better off buying one of little electric cars they make for kids. Seriously, this is a problem if biblical proportions. And it needs to be stopped.

Dodge Viper ACR (2014)

The Dodge Viper exploded to the scene in the late 90s, and hasn’t really changed a lot since then. Even so, it was quite sad to hear that, at the end of 2017, it would. be put out of production. This was so dodge could make way for the Dodge Demon in their lineup. However, I am not here talk about the demon. I’m here to talk about the Viper, in this case the 2014 Dodge Viper ACR. 

There have been many versions of the Dodge Viper ACR since it began. But the look that we know and love today really started with the 2008 version. A later version of the normal viper body, badass scary put events, a badge that is a brake light, and a massive wing are just some of the features that make this car so cool to look at. 

The ACR versions from 2008 and 2014 May not be the fastest Vipers, actually the slowest in the entire range of new vipers, but they are definitely the coolest. The reason that it  is slower than the other vipers, at least the newer versions, is because of the massive GT spoiler wing at the back. The swing provides down force. That means it forces the car into the track for better handling. This makes the car very adept at turning, and as it was meant as a race car, this is something that you want. The car is interior is pretty good for such a loud car. The seats are nice, steering wheel has just the right amount of grip, and the pedals aren’t too clunky. Nor is the gearshift. While it is hard, you can find this car in an automatic gearbox if you are an idiot. If you end up purchasing the automatic version, you are inferior scum that deserves to be wiped off the face of the earth. Seriously though, this car is much worse as an automatic. It was a really stupid decision of dodge to even release is one. If you not have enough talent to drive a manual car, then you have no right owning the 2014 Dodge Viper ACR.

I mentioned before the car was extremely loud. It is. Very very very loud. It’s the loudest viper stock you can buy. The car has a massive engine that sends so much power to  the wheels that it feels absolutely insane. This car takes off like a rocket. Take off can be so brutal in fact, that the seats actually had to be reshaped from the previous ACR versions, just so the driver’s neck wouldn’t snap. Seriously insane stuff. 

The car can go from 0 to 60 in 3.3 seconds. That might not sound like a lot, especially when compared to the Dodge Demon that can do it in 2.3 seconds, but this car is excel ration is so mind meltingly fast, that it might feel like 1.1 seconds. Has 600 pounds of torque per foot, as well as near-perfect steering control. The car comes with some seriously awesome tires and 645 horse power from a 8.4 Liter V 10 engine. You can pick up a 2014 model for about $88,000. Or the 2017 version for Around $90,000. And that’s without all the optional extras.

So what are you waiting for? Go ride in one today, And go buy one, if you can, before It disappears from the general market market, to make way for the dodge demon.