Lamborghini Countach

I am going to compose myself and prepare for the shit-storm of hate that will be blown my way at the end of this review. Okay here we go.

In the 1960’s Lamborghini was at the top of its game in the 20th century, with cars like the stunning Miura. Which is why,  when, in 1974, petrol-heads and the general public alike, was stunned When Lamborghini released the Countach. This “retro rocket” screamed “STUPID!” as it flew past, leaving only the sound of it’s awful and distorted V12 engine in its wake. Then, only a few moments later, you would hear the sound of a loud crash as the car’s steering would give out and the carrot-shaped monster would be left in a crumpled heap on the highway’s shoulder. I would worry about brain damage to the driver, but, you have to must already have some brain damage to think that it was a good idea to buy the ugly monster in the first place.

This car saw production all the way up until 1990, with SV, GT, and QV versions being made available as time went on. Although some people may remember this bedroom wall car poster vehicle with fond memories, and although there are some uneducated people who look at this car and think “Wow! Now that’s a Lamborghini!” There are still some, such as myself who see car for what it truly is... one big problem.

It rattled and shook more than a poorly put together soap-box racer. A more accurate description is most likely a comparison to the cardboard “roll cage” young children put on their little red wagons before engaging in a demolition derby. That was about how comfortable it was. Where as Lamborghini Miura, although quite simple, offered a beautiful interior, with lovely seats and a beautiful dashboard, the Countach had an interior more reminiscent of a plastic factory. It did away with the lovely wood paneling and beautiful steering wheel, and added rough and ugly surfaces and a barely passable disk as a steering device. The Gear Box was stickier than a pot of honey and melted wax and constantly felt like it was fighting you. The tires were horrible beyond belief and the underside of the car looked like a fat man sat on a plumbing factory and broke it. Then there is the matter of the optional rear wing, yes, the same one from the, if possible, even more hideous QV version. As you most likely know, or at least you should know, the point of a rear wing on a car is to increase downforce. This, in turn, increases handling, but normally reduces the top speed of the car. The rear wing that was available on the Countach, while decreasing the speed of the car, did nothing at all to increase the handling. It made the car rock back and forth around the corners and looked hideous. 

There are so many things wrong with this V12 hunk of expensive junk that I can safely say that even though it is a supercar, it is not a “Super Car.”

Jaguar F-Type Project 7

Aston Martin Lagonda

Now don’t get me wrong. I love Aston Martin cas a lot. In fact, they are my favorite car brand in the world, and a new series Vanquish will most likely always be my dream car. However, even the greatest car brands have some duds. Please note that this post will be referring mostly, if not entirely, to the original Series One Lagonda in its original production years, not the modern version that has surfaced in more recent years. That is an entirely different mess of a car for an entirely different day and an entirely different post. Now, on with the review.

Answer this question. When I say the name Aston Martin, what is the first thing that comes into your mind? There is a good chance that you thought of the dashing secret agent James Bond in the film series, I say film series as he drove a Bently in the books. Many of you probably thought of the famous DB5, a car made popular by the Bond franchise, or the powerful and beautiful V12 Vanquish. Hell, maybe you even thought of the funny little car known to the public as the “wtf” mobile, or more formally know as the Aston Martin Cygnet, the little car that is smaller than a Ford Fiesta. Anyway, despite what you might have thought, I doubt very much that the first car to come to mind was the Aston Martin Lagonda. In fact, even Aston Martin as a company tries to forget that it exists. This is not to say that it is an all around horrible car, it just doesn’t look like an Aston Martin. It looks more like a Mercedes or a combination of the Lotus Esprit and the BMW M1. It’s also not that odd to see them being drivin around their home country of England, especially on the countryside lanes. In fact, you can rent one of these cars from certain REGULAR rental services for less than a Ford Fiesta or Mini Cooper, and only slightly more than the Fiat 500.

Still, this vehicle is far from perfect. Whenever I see a side-shot, like the one seen above, I keep expecting the wheels to fold up and for it to become the world’s least fashionable aqua-car. The door almost resemble a forward facing version of the suicide-doors found on so many restored hot-rods, and that is something an Aston Martin should never have. There is also an air of Oldsmobile Cutlasses Supreme to the car. The Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, whilst a cool car in its own right, should never be in the same thought path as an Aston Martin of any sort, Lagonda or otherwise. One a final note, the car drives and handles just like it looks, od and not always in the right place. However, if you can afford it, or you have a whole ton of spare cash and enjoy either collecting or restoring cars, you can actually pick one of these things up in okay to decent condition for less than, you guessed it, a new Ford Focus or Fiesta. Just be prepared for the many odd looks you will receive at parties when you tell a group of people that you own an Aston Martin. They will most likely expect you to pull up in some form of  Vanquish or Vantage, and will be quite suprised when you arrive in what appears to be someone’s squashed lunchbox.

Anyway, that’s it for this review. Please leave comments for what cars we should review next, and, as always, enjoy the rest of the blog.

2012 Aston Martin Vanquish V12

Aston Martin vanquish 2012

Aston Martin. We know it as a signature James Bond car. We know it as style and grace. We know it for speed in luxury. And we’ve always known this. Since the beginning. In the company is proud history it has carved it’s name into the record books multiple times. from Aston Martin DB five, to the stupidly expensive, but no less awesome, Aston Martin One-77, we have seen some truly great cars. But none better, especially in the modern age, then this one… The Aston Martin vanquish 2012 edition. By 2012, the Aston Martin vanquish, and many different forms, have been around for quite some time. Since the very first one it’s been combining speed and grace with lots of horse power. It’s always been beautiful in every single way, and every single color it’s been available in. It’s a seriously nice car. Yet in 2012 they decided to make it even better. It was the official replacement for the Aston Martin DBS, avery fine Car in its own right, It looks a lot like the Aston Martin One-77 different ways. It Even looks good in light blue. That is something that almost no car can do. Most of all the car came packed with the roaring V12 engine. However later on you could opt for a standard V-8. But come on, who would want that. One qualification for owning this car, basically, was having a version of the James Bond theme ready to  play from your phone at all times, in case anyone ever happened to drive by. This is because James Bond drove the original version of the car in the 2002 film Die Another Day. However, unlike that car, the Aston Martin 2012 cannot turn invisible… And if it could it would not be suitable for road use. Ason Martin did away with the standard Matte Gray color that Aston Martins have been associated with, instead chose for stander a much nicer silver color… Polished silver.  However, The car undoubtedly looks its best in dark blue… Or, as Aston Martin calls it, Midnight Blue. If you cannot already tell, it’s my dream car. It’s my favorite car in the world. I would do almost anything to own it. And, if you know where to look, you can get a good used one under $100,000. Still quite a bit of cash, but nowhere near as much is a Lamborghini from the same year The Aventador S. And also it’s not a super car… It’s a GT car. You know what else is a GT car? The Lexus LFA. And yes, even though LFA is quite a nice car, it looks nowhere near as nice, and also does not drive as nice, as the Aston Martin vanquish. Seriously, The Vanquish is one of the nicest cars I’ve ever seen. And is the nicest car I can ever hope to own. And who knows, one day this car maybe as iconic as the Aston Martin DB five. We just have to give it time.

Ford Mustang Mach 1

FORD MUSTANG MACH ONE

Have you ever wanted a nice, calm, and sleek muscle car with a good MPG status and a good insurance group? Well, If you have, then you can get the hell off this page. Now, if you have ever wanted a car that has a front end that looks like it wants to be a rocketship, a loud kick-ass engine, and a paint job that, even in its bright green and black still screamed muscle car, then this is what you have been looking for. Weather it is being driven by James Bond in Diamonds Are Forever, or by Richard Hammond on top gear, this is one of the coolest muscle cars you can ever dream of owning. It brought a new shine to a scene largely dominated My the early Camaros and Corvettes. It’s Suspension meant you could take a bump, and just keep on driving. Had exceptional turning skill for a musclecar Of the time, as was a comfortable interior, which muscle cars were not known to have at the time. It could make a noise that would make a full grown bull whimper for its mommy and had a shape that set it apart from the other muscle cars at the time. It also happened to be made by Ford, a brand which people had trusted for a long time before that. It is one of Ford’s most successful Mustangs away from Shelby that is not part of the 302 Boss lineup. It wasn’t known for its reliability, but to be fair it is a musclecar late 60s early 70s, so that is only to be expected. The car will be re-watching in 2018 with classic and modern styling. Is also Made several come backs over the years. So do not worry, the car will not be going away anytime soon. It is value today, to be within the $30,000 to $40,000 price range. When the car makes it to turn in 2018, it will be powered by a coyote V-8 engine. This will slot it somewhere between the regular mustang GT, any more powerful Shelby GT500. The fourth generation, that debris into thousand three, was absolutely hideous. To be fair, almost all Cars from 2003 were absolutely hideous. So I guess I can give it a pass there. The 1972 second generation version of the mustang, appears to be won best known. It was also one left in Patagonia on the Top Gear Patagonia special by Richard Hammond. It in Patagonia till the end of 2016, when some daring Top Gear fan managed to bring the car back to UK and give it back to Richard Hammond. In my Pinyan the second generation does look the best. Possible because the nicer hood. It was almost impossible to find his car ugly color, apart from Brown. The call Jen make the car look good, the Carmen the colors look good. Different set of tires are available for the first and second generation send other ones, with the second-generation’s tires being the best. Seriously, you get a massive tires on this thing. All cars for a different versions of V8 engines as a stock choice, except for 2003, which only had one version of the V8 available. This car was also insanely easy to modify. These modifications included, a massive powerful V12 engine, roof lights, spotlight, a searchlight, super powerful fog lights, and, as seen on top gear, a La Cucaracha horn. (This can be rewired the brake pedal if you so choose.) custom companies also started selling turbo charged V12 versions which boosted the car up to a whopping 238 mph top speed. How they managed to get to go so fast without it falling apart is a secret of the manufacture, I suggest a very good reinforcement cage. Wiles the turbo charger maybe even quicker, a custom V 12 maybe even louder. Seriously, go through a tunnel with either version and have your windows down. Warning, be prepared to invest in hearing aids you’ll be deaf afterwards. It’s a powerful beast with amazing potential and that is why it is amazing.

1955 BMW Isetta

1955 BMW Isetta Review 

Kids love bubbles, and some kids love cars. So, logically, someone at BMW motors decided to make something that looks a little bit like a car, but a whole lot more like an egg inside a bubble. That, in turn, lead to the creation of the unfortunate BMW Isetta. What the people at BMW were smoking when the gave the okay on this car, I’m not quite sure. Whatever it was however, this car found it’s way onto the production line in 1955, alongside cars such as the elegant BMW 501. It may have paved the way for the BMW 600 four-seater micro car, but that doesn’t stop the whole world from laughing at Germany’s first attempt at putting a bowling ball on wheels, Haven’t seen one? I don’t blame you as they aren’t exactly common. And even if someone is luck, or stupid enough, to actually own one, you wouldn’t see them driving it around. Not only because you would look like you were in a clown car on your way to join the circus, but also because if you if you got into an accident in this thing, which is fairly likely, the repair costs would be about the same as for a Lamborghini Gallardo because of how hard it would be harder to find replacement parts for the car. In the bright side, if you were involved in an accident, their would not be a lot left to repair, unless you are the type of person who walks into a car repair shop and says “Hello, I need a full repair job on my 1955 BMW Isetta.” Before holding up a flat metal pancake, pointing at it and saying “car.” To the confused repair man. This egg on wheels could achieve 78 mpg and a top speed of Of annoyingly slow. A seriously funny car.

2012 Shelby Cobra GT500

The year 2012 game us some truly amazing cars, such as the Lamborghini Aventador, the Konegseg Agera R, and the  Ferrari f12 Berlinetta, whilst the muscle cars continued without anything notable right? wrong! In the 2012, Ford, in a partnership with then subdivision, Shelby created the worlds most hardcore Cobra muscle car yet. However, when most people hear the words Shelby Cobra, they think of the AC Cobra, modified by the former racing driver, Carroll Shelby. While this is true, it is far from his only creation, although most of his work vent towards various cars in the Ford Mustang lineup. However, the Shelby GT500 was the last car built under the Shelby before his death on May 10, 2012. That is why, after all these years, and all of the cars he and his ideas helped to build and improve, it is fitting that the car has his name, printed in metal, on the back of the car.

The Shelby GT500 was based on the body and design of the 2012 Ford Mustang, leaving behind the ugly 2011 Mustang's bodywork. However, it also carried more than a hint of the 1972 Ford Mustang GT's stylistic choices in areas such as the over-bent hood scoop that allowed the roar of this powerful and amazing beast to be unleashed.   It came filled with a bone rattling 4.5 L 4-valve Supercharged V8 and a 6-speed manual with gear box that was not as sticky as the version that was fitted to the standard Ford Mustang in 2012, and packed a whopping 550 horsepower, as well as a new option for Recaro seats.The car was able to get up to get up to 23 mpg in both the city and the highway. The Sterling Grey option was discontinued for the 2012 model as it hadn't been selling well and both Ford and the Shelby crew decided that there was no use in continuing it. However, the Shelby Stripes, also known as "Go Faster Striped" or "GT Stripes", stayed, along with the slightly lifted bodywork fin. The 2012 GT500 had a starting price of around $50,000, beating out both Dodge and Chevy for the most bang for your buck in terms of what you get. It also had air condition as standard with in optional GPS navigation system, and later, optional blutooth. Truly the best muscle car in recent history.

The Yugo

The Yugo has the distinction of being one of the few Eastern Bloc cars ever brought into the United States in large numbers. A car straight out of hell with reliability worse than that of an old Volvo's, and a ride worse than that of the infamous Ford Pinto, I do not envy anyone who had the misfortune to own one. It was possibly the worst low cost flop ever to be brought to the US market, and was introduced by Canadian businessman Malcom Bricklin, although it, as the name suggests, came from 1985 to 1991 be for being discontinued not to soon, and most likely several years to late. The car is so unbearably awful that it is actually painful for me to write it right now. Riding in a Yugo, of any kind, felt like riding in a wobbly metal box on wheels. If you were lucky enough to have Air Conditioning, there was a good chance that it wouldn’t work... Or it would just pump fumes into the vehicle. And with licks that sometimes locked the driver inside the vehicle, it would turn it into a smoke inhalation chamber. Yeah, not good. This dull car was available in a wide variety of  equally dull colors. These include many different shades of the same color. But that could not disguise the truly awful car underneath the paint. This care quickly became less reliable than an old Volvo. Not to mention that bastard of gearbox. The original model boasted a  truly awful  1.1 L engine that sounded like an animal was being violently murdered when ever you started it up. It could get up to 29 mpg on the highway, when at an at an average speed of  37 mph, and had a top speed of an  abysmal 135 kmph (translated to 84mph) however, you were unlikely to reach this speed before a brake nod snapped, a door came loose, or you lost your front left wheel. All in all, it may not be the worst car of all time, but it is certainly up there.

Ford Mustang (1995)

The Ford Mustang. For a long time it was, and still is, the iconic V8 muscle car. From the classics of the 1960's and the explosive modded versions of the 2012 era, to the sleek road cruisers we know today that can still pack a massive V8 punch, there have seen some truly great cars. However, just like almost all muscle cars, the designs in the 1990's looked like they had been drawn up by a rat who was, at the time, high on acid and who knows what else. This time around, I will be focusing of the 1995 Ford Mustang. You've probably seen it. You know the one I'm talking about. The one on you're street with the chipped red paint and the bent antenna, the discolored rim plates and the crooked licence plate? The one that is driven by some old guy who tried to be hip and cool in the 90's but never really let go when the new millennium rolled around? Yup that's the one. The 1995 Ford Mustang is proof that not even America's most iconic muscle car can escape the curse of evolution.

Here's a little activity for you readers. Go grab a paper clip and pinch the front end slightly. Done that? Okay good. Now trace it onto a piece of paper, ad wobbly wheels and a tacky roof with a even tackier little poke spoiler coming out of the back of the roof. And a low inverted GT wing at the back. What's that you say? You don't know what a low inverted GT wing is? Good! Because the people at Ford didn't know either.

The 1995 Ford mustang had pinched, sloping sides that looked like the designer had sat on them before saying to himself "I love the shape my fat, incompetent ass made on the car designs. I think I'll just use that." And somehow, Ford approved it. The side panels rattle, the doors wouldn't seal properly, letting mold, mildew, and all sorts dust into the car. You could sometimes even see the welding lines. In fact, the only good thing this car did was keep to the, then traditional, gouge down the side of the side of the car.

Now lets talk about the cars gearbox. If you bought the far superior manual version of the car, which is how you are supposed to drive a mustang, you would have to put up with gear changes that take longer than the NBFL London Bus takes to go from zero to sixty, which actually, it can't do. Each time you shifted gears, you could be treated to an angry scraping sound, and the car felt like it was fighting you. This scraping sound wasn't just a bad noise, it also was the cause of your clutch snapping.
Even Ford hates this car as, not only did they stop making spare parts almost instantly, thus screwing over almost every driver who had the previously mentioned clutch pedal, but they also never put it their Year 2000 Mustang Catalog, which had every other ford Mustang ever built listed in it, even the 302 Boss versions.

Now to talk about the price. I have managed to track one down on the Internet, and they seem to be selling for around $4,000 to $4,500 for the convertible version. Fro that much money, if you so chose, you could buy yourself a Yugo and have $1,500 left over. And, I don't think I have ever said this before, but I would take the Yugo over this disgrace to the powerful history that is they American muscle car, and the legacy that is the V8 engine.

Ford Pinto

I think it is safe to say that most of us, by the age of 10 years old, know the comfort of sitting next to, or around, a nice warm fire. However, this memory can go from calming to alarming faster than a Dodge Demon goes from zero to sixty, when the fire is inside your car, and you happen to be sitting in the driver's seat. I am talking, of course, about the infamous Ford Pinto. On one hand, it was a simple, one time use, instant campfire. On the other hand, when you "set it off" it was not only likely to make you the object being cooked. Not only that, but it would most likely set fire to all the hillbilly's farms and crops as your four-wheeled petrol bomb detonated in a massive explosion and more than a fain whiff of American pride. This car, first built in 1971 is also probably the reason that anyone who was old enough to drive around that time is deathly afraid of parallel parking, mostly because they are still afraid that their car will detonate if the come into the massive Bentley behind them. So next time your mother circles the block endlessly, claiming that she needs a space two and a half cars log to park her tiny little smart car, now you know why. This may also have answered the question that you have as to what the massive bang noise you heard on your street at 10:30 pm last night was, and, when you woke up this morning, you found a charred and smoking Ford badge on your doorstep.

Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z

The 1990's and early 2000's was a time when the entire automotive industry seem to have lost its sparkly. The decade saw some great looking cars, such as Lamborghini turn out uninspiring wedges like the flat, sloped, and squidgy Diablo. As well working class cars such as the Vauxhall Vectra and the Ford Mondeo take a turn for the worse. However, some of these changes can go unnoticed, but one type of car could not. This is the first post in a series where I will be examining the muscle cars from the late 1980's all the way through 2005. So lets begin with Chevy's biggest flop since the self distrusting Chevy Nova... the Camaro IROC-Z. 

Where to start with this one. Ah yes, the body. The shape of the car defines everything that the era was known for. And that isn't exactly a good thing. The crouched and pointy look of the front of the car gave it the look of a slightly drunk and pissed off eagle. It came complete with a hideous hood scoop as an option that could be fitted in one of two places, in the center of the hood, where most hood scoops go, or on the left side... directly in front of the driver's seat, which made it impossible to see where you were going. This could of almost been forgiven if this $350 extra actually benefited the car or it's driver in any way. However, just like the 1990's themselves, it just made cars louder and even more pointless. 

The sides of the car bulged outwards slightly, in an attempt go make the car more like a wind-shear, more aerodynamic. However, although better looking than the 1996 Camaro's sides, this caused the doors to not close properly, which could be a problem if you lived anywhere with the phenomenon known to the wider world as rain. Some models were rushed to production so fast that you could actual see the welding lines that connected the odd looking wheel arches to the main framework of the car.

Chevrolet's attempt to combine the blocky front section and middle, with the sloping back of Chevy's 1970 El Camino Super Sport 454 racing truck, but decided to shorten the back end and cover it with a cheap glass, or sometimes even plastic windscreen. And as far as shopping in the car, you were fine... unless your groceries took up more than one bag.

You might almost be able to forgive this death trap of a vehicle, if the suspension didn't feel like the springs on those Moon Shoes kids toys which populated the late 1990's. The ride of the car felt like you were offroading over large rocks, sending jolts through your spine every few feet, jolts that, after only a few miles, would leave you exhausted. And then there's the steering. If you have a boating license than congratulations, this is the car for you! Offered a turning circle comparable to a modern day version of a 1700's sailing ship, and the brakes always appeared to be taking a day off as they had almost only one real use, that of a foot rest. This is because the car's stopping distance felt like that of a rocket powered drag cars... without a parachute.

And how much would it cost you today to own this death trap? Well as the more well known version, the 1LE, only had 34 ever made, it can go for around $59,400. The only difference between this car and a piece of Arnold Schwarzenegger's shit, is that you can't drive a piece of Arnold Schwarzenegger's shit... yet.

Dacia Sandero

Good news! It's the Dacia Sandero! If you haven't heard of it I honestly don't blame you. It is most likely known for  being seen as a running gag on the British motoring show Top Gear for a short time. Originally released in 2007 in Romania, it boasted a fuel tank that, under some conditions, was more fuel efficient than the Ford Fiesta, the Fort fiesta, the Ford Focus, the Ford Focus RS, and the Volkswagen Up! You have the choice of one of ten engines with this car, the most powerful one, a 1.6 liter 16V, giving you a total of 195 kmph (121 mph) at best, with a zero to sixty mph time of 10.8 seconds. For an extra fee in the UK, just like the Fords of 2013, you could have the car fitted with a turbo charger. But when you think about it, what is the real point? The type of person who owns a Dacia Sandaro, isn't likely to be a person who cares all that much about speed. No, the type of person why buys a Dacia Sandaro is the type of person who is looking for a fuel efficient family car that is also a subcompact, and doesn't mind too much if it looks like a slightly bloated baby hippo with wheels and headlights.

The Vauxhaul Vectra

In the mid to late nineties, people were, more than ever in the market for reasonably priced, yet also well-made cars. Many brands such as Toyota and Honda supplied the public with decent and reliable cars at mostly low prices. Enter Vauxhaul, a company that was later to gain fame as one of the Reasonably Priced Cars on the British motoring show Top Gear, with the Vauxhall Astra Techline. However, in the nineties, things weren't looking good for the British car manufacturer as it was trying to stay afloat in a market that was trying to sink it. Enter the Vauxhall Vectra, the somewhat reasonably priced car to pull them back on track... right? In short, no. Described by British motoring presenter Jeremy Clarkson as "a box on wheels,"  the Vectra is most likely listed as the dictionary definition of 'shoddy'. You had a choice of a hatchback or a saloon, and eventually an estate version, along with six low horsepower engines that sounded worse than a lawnmower on a cold day, and smelled just as bad. The car was made first available in a small selection of colors that ranged from light brown to dark brown, to Get-Me-Out-Of-Here! Brown, all of which looked absolutely hideous. The Vectra also sported five equally horrid choices of trim. With its clock that was always two minutes slow, thanks to it being connected to the atomic clock in Germany, it feels at home either at a Disney World parking lot, riddled with bullet holes in a San Fransisco back alley, or, preferably, in a trash compactor in Romania. And it only got worse through the years. Vauxhall made several attempts to improve the car's styling by adding body lines to its door paneling. Unfortunately, this made anyone who actually owned a generation three Vectra look as if they were riding around in a cheese grater. Car sales declined rapidly after the turn of the century. This was due, not only to its steadily decreasing visual appeal but its numerous performance issues. Many customers reported faulty ignition switches and brakes. The car also refused to start if temperatures dropped below -2 degrees Celsius, 28.4 degrees Fahrenheit, which, as the car was mostly soled in England, means that owners would be left without a working car for a good part of the year. The suspension in the vehicle was also known to snap without warning along with the handbrake. All of these things lead to the car's production run ending in 2008. Several years too late.

Welcome To The Big Car Lot

Hello and welcome to The Big Car Lot, this is a place where you can find car reviews on everything from the Shelby Cobra and the Lamborghi i Aventador, to the Honda Civic and Toyota Prius. If you don't see a car you think should be here, just let us know.