Lamborghini Countach

I am going to compose myself and prepare for the shit-storm of hate that will be blown my way at the end of this review. Okay here we go.

In the 1960’s Lamborghini was at the top of its game in the 20th century, with cars like the stunning Miura. Which is why,  when, in 1974, petrol-heads and the general public alike, was stunned When Lamborghini released the Countach. This “retro rocket” screamed “STUPID!” as it flew past, leaving only the sound of it’s awful and distorted V12 engine in its wake. Then, only a few moments later, you would hear the sound of a loud crash as the car’s steering would give out and the carrot-shaped monster would be left in a crumpled heap on the highway’s shoulder. I would worry about brain damage to the driver, but, you have to must already have some brain damage to think that it was a good idea to buy the ugly monster in the first place.

This car saw production all the way up until 1990, with SV, GT, and QV versions being made available as time went on. Although some people may remember this bedroom wall car poster vehicle with fond memories, and although there are some uneducated people who look at this car and think “Wow! Now that’s a Lamborghini!” There are still some, such as myself who see car for what it truly is... one big problem.

It rattled and shook more than a poorly put together soap-box racer. A more accurate description is most likely a comparison to the cardboard “roll cage” young children put on their little red wagons before engaging in a demolition derby. That was about how comfortable it was. Where as Lamborghini Miura, although quite simple, offered a beautiful interior, with lovely seats and a beautiful dashboard, the Countach had an interior more reminiscent of a plastic factory. It did away with the lovely wood paneling and beautiful steering wheel, and added rough and ugly surfaces and a barely passable disk as a steering device. The Gear Box was stickier than a pot of honey and melted wax and constantly felt like it was fighting you. The tires were horrible beyond belief and the underside of the car looked like a fat man sat on a plumbing factory and broke it. Then there is the matter of the optional rear wing, yes, the same one from the, if possible, even more hideous QV version. As you most likely know, or at least you should know, the point of a rear wing on a car is to increase downforce. This, in turn, increases handling, but normally reduces the top speed of the car. The rear wing that was available on the Countach, while decreasing the speed of the car, did nothing at all to increase the handling. It made the car rock back and forth around the corners and looked hideous. 

There are so many things wrong with this V12 hunk of expensive junk that I can safely say that even though it is a supercar, it is not a “Super Car.”